Fuck the TV Licence

Every month for the last 6 years I have received a threat from the aresholes at the BBC. Apparently, not having a TV license is a crime. As far as the TVL (TVLicensing) are concerned, there are people with TV Licenses and there are License dodging criminals.

It's not a crime to not have a license. Nor is it a crime to ignore their ridiculous letters and demands. It is a crime however to harass and threaten people. I don't watch TV so I don't want or need a TV license. If the BBC was worth watching I might pay £150 per year to watch it. My TV is only used to watch DVDs so I shouldn't need one. But according to them if you have any equipment that is capable of receiving a TV signal then you need a license. Their letters say this includes TVs (duh!), Video Players, DVD Recorders, Digital Boxes, Personal Computers/Laptops and Mobile Phones (what?! who's watching Eastenders on their mobile?). A mobile phone isn't a TV. How long before you need a TV license for a calculator or a microwave with a digital display?

I've recently moved (that's why this site hasn't been updated in a while) and their must have been 6 letters on the mat from the TVL. Check out this site for examples of the letters they send. I get the exact same letters. They go in cycles starting off polite, letting you know that it is a crime to own a TV without a license and then they quickly become more threatening. They say things like "an investigation has been opened", they speak of "impending action" and they say they will send one of their "enforcement officers" to your address to take a sworn statement. A sworn statement? Feel free, it shouldn't take too long to write "suck my balls" and sign it.

No other licensing agency does this. I don't get threats for not having a fishing license. They don't write to me every single month. They don't turn up at my door demanding I let them in to search my flat and prove there are no fishing rods here. Why should the BBC be allowed to do this?

I had a visit today from one of their "officers". He looked like a security guard who'd watched too many episodes of The Sweeney. He asked my name and flashed me his official looking ID in a leather case, like he was fucking Shaft or something. Like he'd just come to bust a "perp" and take him "downtown". He said "Our investigation shows that you don't have a TV License". "OK" I said.

"Enforcement Officer Cockmunch, License Dodging Division"

He stared at me for a while, I'm not sure if he was trying to intimidate me or if he'd only just noticed that I had answered the door in my underpants with soup in my beard. "Do you know that you don't have a TV License?", "I do indeed! If I ever want one I'll give you a call". I closed the door and went back to my dinner. I'm sure these tactics work with little old ladies who don't know that these idiots have no power whatsoever but I won't be pushed around.

A few weeks ago my dad told one of these "officers" that he didn't have a TV and he tried forcing his way in to his bungalow to check. My dad had to physically stop him.

If the BBC wants us to pay for their shite programmes then they should make a deal with SKY and make it a pay channel. You can't just send a signal out and then tell everyone it reaches that they need to pay for it whether they want it or not. It's nothing but another tax on the public.

So Fuck the TV license. Fuck it up it's stupid arse

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Edit. A couple of days later a man knocked on my door asking if I had time to answer a quick survey about my TV viewing habits. I told him I wasn't interested and he kept asking me my name as I closed the door on him. I have no doubt this was yet another tactic used by the sneaky fuckers at the TVL. I think I'm just going to put a sign on my front door that says "Knock on the door and I'll lamp you in the face". It's simple and to the point. I might even write it in my own shit to really make them think twice