Can you believe that someone actually paid $37500 for this naked picture. I say naked, it's hardly naked when you're wearing a pair of pants made out of pubes. She might as well have been wearing a pair of shorts. Seriously, it looks like she's got Don King between her legs. Was there some sort of razor drought in the 80's that I never heard about?
Apparently she works out for 2 hours a day, 6 days a week and for what? To look like Iggy fuckin' Pop, that's what.
She might be the queen of pop but she's still got a face like a bag of spanners, she looks like a man in drag and has a gap in her teeth big enough to fit Dawn French's fat fuckin' arse. So she sweats for 2 hours each day, she's a vegetarian and she doesn't shave her bush. I bet she smells like a bag of old fannies.What's the deal with her marrying that mockney twat Guy Richie and suddenly thinking she was English?
What the hell was that? She keeps slipping into this ridiculously posh British accent. No one in this country actually speaks like that. Who has she been hanging out with, the Queen? When a Brit goes to America for a holiday they don't come back 3 stone heavier with a pimp walk and an American accent. It's ridiculous.
So, Madonna. I'd just like to say, on behalf of the rest of the country, you're barred. You won't be allowed to work or holiday in Britain for the next 7 years. That's right, I've sentenced you. I think the punishment should fit the crime and 7 years sounds about right. I know you only get about 4 years for mugging old ladies but what you've done is so much worse. You annoy me. Just watching that video of you got me so mad that I had to punch my laptop in the face. If I see you around here again before your sentence is up I'm gonna kick you in the biff.
