Fresh Prince of Bell-EndThe thing I hate most about this talentless bucket of shit is his whole speaking loudly and gurning like a moron shtick. He doesn't seem to understand that just being loud isn't funny. When you say something it doesn't get any funnier just because you shout it. It also doesn't get any funnier if you nudge someone with your elbow, pull a stupid fucking face and say "yamean?". And another thing, "You know what I mean" is five words, not one. Everytime he says "Ptschh" I get so mad I just want to rip his eyebrows off.
For the love of God leave the Karate Kid alone! You can ruin adaptations of awesome books (I am Legend) and put your stink all over some great ideas (Hancock) but don't mess with my childhood. What next, are they going to let him remake The Goonies? I don't want to see the Karate Kid get out of his new Audi concept car, tie his Reebok trainers, text Mr Miagi on his new Nokia then do a crane kick in front of the huge fucking Coca-Cola sign in Times Square. The advertising in his movies is ridiculous (see I, Robot or I Am Legend for the worst offenders). It hasn't even begun filming yet but already I know that when I see it I'm going to want to crane kick Will Smith in the cock.
What's the deal with him and Tom Cruise? Will Smith has bagged himself a new celebrity
"Can I touch your beef hula-hoop?"I can't help thinking that if he never got the part on The Fresh Prince he never would have made it to Hollywood. If there is any karma in the world, every time the person in charge of casting leaves his house, he'll step on a rake, get hit in the face and then fall in a huge stinking pile hobo shit.
Hancock had the potential to be so good. This is another example of taking a great idea and then hiring Will Smith to drop his pants and shit all over it. How good would a drunken superhero be if it was played by someone like Billy-Bob Thornton in full-on Bad Santa mode? I get angry just thinking about it.
FactI Am Legend was a good idea since none of the other adaptations really did it justice. I had high hopes for this until I heard it was being made as just another Will Smith vehicle. I knew it was going to suck balls but even I was shocked by how bad it actually turned out. Why on earth did someone decide to make a movie about Will Smith being chased by bits of cartoon and occasionally cowering in a bathtub. It was like a less funny Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
Another movie he did that annoyed me was Ali. Even worse than the film itself was the acclaim he got for his performance. For some reason his portrayal of Muhammed Ali gained him a lot of respect as an actor. He showed his usual acting range (shouting and gurning), only this time he had more muscle. Literally the only difference between his performance in this and his performance as the Fresh Prince was his muscles. If all you need are muscles to be a good actor then Arnold Schwarzenegger should have a special building made to house all of his Oscars.
I can't list every single one of his movies that I hate because this blog would just be his IMDB page. Don't even get me started on his music. Every time I hear one of his songs I can't help but think how lucky deaf people are for not having to suffer through it.
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I actually used to watch the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air but I always thought Carlton was the funniest part of the show. I didn't immediately hate Will Smith, it was a gradual thing that started with Independence Day and now gets worse every time I see him. If he can find a director to reign him in and make him play it straight he might one day not ruin every movie he's in. He almost managed it in the first 30 minutes of I Am Legend but then he lost me when he started gurning at the mannequins in the store. I could probably add about a thousand more things to this list...and as he makes more movies i just might.
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